Let me tell you, many coaches just don't really pay attention to this side of the game. But I want you to at least think of how these questions pertain to you and pertain to your athletes.
Ask yourself, do you feel like your identity is tied to your results? Like if you play well, you feel good.
Do you see results out of your control?
Do you see how you are allowing something that is outside of your control to affect the way you feel about yourself as person?
Most of us will have answered this with a yes. This is where we can begin. On common ground to discover truly what people remember.
Ask yourself now who was the leading scorer in the NCAA 3 years ago?
What is the name of your favorite teacher?
Why did you pick that teacher?
You discovered like many of us, we don't know who the leading scorer was in our own sport! That is a common answer. But each of us can pick that special teacher. Usually because the teacher got to know the student. There are many responses that can be had, see if you think of any of these? Supportive, got to know me, made learning fun, challenged me, helped me. Sound familiar?
What was the purpose of those questions? Who was the leading scorer, favorite teacher, how come you picked them? It's a reminder.
What do people forget?
What do people remember?
1. People forget stats.
2. People remember who you were as a person.
How do you want to be remembered?
Value the person more than the player. Our identity, if it's tied to you as a player then you will feel dejected if you miss the shot. If the identity is in yourself as a person, then you will be able to show how to bounce back, how to use the adversity. Totally different way of approaching and looking at it.
Focus on Character skills: There are Performance skills and moral skills. Pick a few. Performance skills such as to name a few: hardworking, resilient, competitive, positive, etc. Moral skills such as: unselfish, trustworthy, respectful, caring, etc.
Ask yourself can these skills be developed?
What about the performance skill you selected, if you developed it, would it make you a better player?
What about the moral skills you selected, if you developed those, would it make you a better teammate?
If you grow these skills it actually makes you a better player and teammate which will lead to better results.
Let's not forget that developing the character of our athletes is more important than the play they run, or the points they score. If you focus in on the character development, you will get better results. The players want the better results, what you as a coach have to develop is the Character Development to help them get there as well as the skill development.
Give this some serious thought. What are your thoughts?